This is probably completely taboo that I'm even proposing this question but I don't care, nobody ever comments on my posts (besides Laura, I love you for that). What, pray tell, is the proper etiquette for nursing a child? (I use the word nursing because even I don't like the word breastfeeding)
I was thinking about it today as I was getting ready to head to Yellowstone for the weekend with my in-laws (who I love). What are you supposed to do when you're out in public? I was worrying about being out in the park having a good time and dreading the moment when my sweet baby was going to be hungry and I was going to need to camp out somewhere to feed him for a half hour to an hour. I've been shopping with my mother and my sister at Khol's and missed everything because I had to hide out in the dressing room while I fed Kylan. It's awful to have to miss every thing because your baby needs to eat. Don't get me wrong I LOVE my baby but sometimes this breastfeeding thing is hard! It's almost embarrassing to have to nurse him when I'm somewhere, I'd really almost rather go home most of the time. I don't want to offend anyone but I don't want to be a hermit. I almost missed the food at the luncheon after his baby blessing because I was in the back bedroom feeding him because I didn't think I could be out there with all of those other people.
I'm not complaining, really I'm not. I'm just hoping for some answers, suggestions, help, encouragement in some form or another because sometimes I think it would be easier if I just pumped and fed him a bottle instead. I wish I were one of those people who could just tell you tough, that's the way it is, I'm feeding him and if you don't like it cover your head, but I'm not. I'm me. Shy, reserved and afraid to offend. I wish I knew what to do but I don't, so I'll just keep plugging along hoping to figure it out. If this offends you, let me know, I won't feed my baby in front of you; if it doesn't, let me know and we can be really good friends because I won't be hiding from you.
Thursday, April 15, 2010
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6 comments:
Didn't you have one of those hooter hiders? I thought I saw you use that at the blessing and thought it was more than appropriate to use. I don't think you should be ashamed of nursing your baby; however, I also appreciate the fact that you don't just plop your breast out in the middle of Target while we're all shopping like other people. ;)
Hang in there. I wasn't able to nurse Ry for very long and although he's just fine now, I enjoyed it and wish I would have done it just a bit longer.
if somebody wants to be offended - that is their own problem. Feed when and where you need to, but yes, covering up with a blanket or a hooter-hider is what I would recommend. You can make it very discreet. I have been in the room with women, and not even know they were breastfeeding. (oh wait, you like the word nursing. right)
So Jentri..I totally understand your predicament. It's really hard to know what's appropriate and when and maybe I just became the way I am out of necessity but as the above comment mentioned, if people want to be offended, it's their own problem. Chances are, the lady in the department store was probably breastfed when she was a baby and its a natural part and process of life. Regular blankets were more convenient for me cause I think they cover more, but during the day, you don't need to stop your routine to nurse. If there is a place to sit down and out of the way, then of course, that's the best option, but I've even nursed Zoe while shopping at the grocery store. Baby slings are also great nursing tools because it keeps the baby in place and your hands free. Hope this helps. Just remember, YOU are the mother and you don't need to explain your parenting and nursing choices to anyone, especially silly and ignorant people who get offended by something as important as feeding a child. You are a GREAT mom and you know what's best for you and your baby. By the way, how are the plans for diaper bag coming? I'm excited to see what you've come up with.
Love, Jess
Jentri... Breastfeeding is a natural part of life. Animals have to feed their babies and we are lucky and fortunate enough to be able to feed our babies. (Yes, I did just compare us to animals) We have been chosen as the ones to feed and nourish our baby. It is a natural process. We don't see the animals saying they need to hide out in the forest while nursing their young, they just do it. Now, I understand that we are human and that we have a little more need for privacy, but that doesn't mean that you can't participate in activities. The mention of using a baby sling is a genious idea and I wish that I had tried that. It completely keeps you hidden and you can even cover up with a blanket as well. Nothing is seen and nobody even has to know that you are nursing. As far as family events and such, they will understand. If they are offended they can leave. You are taking care of your baby and that is what you as a mother NEEDS to do. It is our instinct, our drive. Don't give up on nursing... it is an amazing process. One that only you are able to provide to Kylan. You are the only one of your family that can offer him the vital nutrients and nourishment that he needs at that time. Your breastmilk changes and adapts to what he needs at different times in his growing life... our bodies are amazing. Don't be ashamed. Be proud!
I found that using a blanket, worked the best for me. The hooter hiders are wonderful but for me I found that a big'ole receiving blanket worked better. I felt that I could be more private and less exposing than with the hooter hider. You'll find your nitche, you'll find what works for you. But there is no need for you to feel that you need to hide away while nursing. Be proud of the Mother that you are!
I hope this helps. Good luck...
Bethany
Well, I agree that nursing is wonderful and natural. However, I still am not comfortable nursing in public. James hates to be covered up by a receiving blanket or a hooter hider, so when I use them he just lifts them up and shows the worlds my goods. You need to do whatever is comfortable for you. If you aren't comfortable nursing in public, don't. I will occasionally skip a feeding and offer a bottle when we are out somewhere busy (think the mall, the airport, a restaurant, etc). But I do still find an out-of-the-way corner at times to feed him. I just cover up as best as possible and try to wear a shirt with buttons or one that I can pull down from the top. However, most of the time I hide away because I am more comfortable doing it that way. I don't think people really care either way, as long as it works for you.
Now! Let's see some photos of the blessing!
I would comment further, but all my comments have been shared. Frankly I don't see what the problem is with nursing (covered) in public. If it's a woman glancing, she has the same thing you do. And well, if it's a man glancing-he's probably more than glancing- tell him to move along. "the world" tells us it's ok to see nudity on the internet...what's wrong with nursing in public?
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